I've listened to some of your other songs and have enjoyed them, but this one is unfortunately the weakest of the bunch. If you are still working on this one, however, the good news is that I think it can be improved significantly with a few minor changes should you decide to revise a "version 2" of this song.
I think you can gain one star simply by improving the percussion. The drum at the very beginning of the piece is too loud and has a subpar sample quality, stickling out like a sore thumb compared to the remainder of the instruments. If you can find a different sample for that drum and lower its volume throughout, the piece would be vastly improved.
As to the arrangement, it sounds like it is all over the place now. But there are also many game music composers who have used that style successfully, such as the final boss battle in Dragon Quest 8. If you listen to that composition, you'll notice that there is practically no melody to the entire piece, and everything is off-key and disorganized. But the difference between that piece and this one is the clarity of the notes - in yours, you can't make out individual chords and all the dissonance blends together.
A good start, but I think that you could greatly improve this work if you decide to put a few more hours into a new version.
